At that
time I was first introduced to Count Jules Ste. Croix. I hate myself,"
she continued, passionately, "when I remember how that man duped me. I
did not think him handsome, although other ladies raved of his beaux
yeux and his classical face.
"But I liked him, Basil, because he had the art of expressing silent
sympathy for me. He said nothing--if he had done so, my pride would have
taken fire and I should have been saved--but all that other men say in
passionate words, he conveyed to me in passionate looks. He was very
kind to me; he used to visit us a great deal, and on several occasions
he stood between me and Lord Lisle's fierce anger.
"He knew all my distress, my troubles, my misery, as well as I know them
myself. Let me tell you briefly, Basil, that at this unhappy time I
wrote to him three letters--only three. I was so miserable, so wretched,
that, unless I had opened my heart to some one, I must have died. Now
listen, Basil, and do not wonder if I have ceased to believe in men. He
answered them, and then, after a time, presumed upon my having written
to him. Oh, Basil, if I could but spare myself the shame of telling you!
He made a compact of friendship with me that nothing was ever to break.
I was but a frightened child, and I made it. He asked me to lend him
money. Oh, Basil, I was but a frightened, terrified girl, and I lent it!
Then he tried to make love to me--he flattered me; he followed me like
my shadow.
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