The great
gain and purpose of my being alive is there; and I must not mind the
blessings that I shall have to do without."
He made a gesture of impatience and tried to interrupt her, but she
said quickly, as if to prevent his speaking: "Listen to me. I can't
help speaking plainly. I would not have come with you this afternoon,
only I wished to make you understand me entirely. I have never since I
can remember thought of myself and my life in any way but
unmarried,--going on alone to the work I am fit to do. I do care for
you. I have been greatly surprised and shaken because I found how
strongly something in me has taken your part, and shown me the
possibility of happiness in a quiet life that should centre itself in
one man's love, and within the walls of his home. But something tells
me all the time that I could not marry the whole of myself as most
women can; there is a great share of my life which could not have its
way, and could only hide itself and be sorry. I know better and better
that most women are made for another sort of existence, but by and by
I must do my part in my own way to make many homes happy instead of
one; to free them from pain, and teach grown people and little
children to keep their bodies free from weakness and deformities. I
don't know why God should have made me a doctor, so many other things
have seemed fitter for women; but I see the blessedness of such a
useful life more and more every year, and I am very thankful for such
a trust.
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