And
as the days went by, every one made him more certain that he longed,
more than he had ever longed for anything before, to win her love. His
heart had never before been deeply touched, but life seemed now like a
heap of dry wood, which had only waited for a live coal to make it
flame and leap in mysterious light, and transfigure itself from
dullness into a bewildering and unaccountable glory. It was no wonder
any longer that poets had sung best of love and its joys and sorrows,
and that men and women, since the world began, had followed at its
call. All life and its history was explained anew, yet this eager
lover felt himself to be the first discoverer of the world's great
secret.
It was hard to wait and to lack assurance, but while the hours when he
had the ideal and the dream seemed to make him certain, he had only to
go back to Miss Prince's to become doubtful and miserable again. The
world did not consent to second his haste, and the persons most
concerned in his affairs were stupidly slow at understanding the true
state of them. While every day made the prize look more desirable,
every day seemed to put another barrier between himself and Nan; and
when she spoke of her visit's end it was amazing to him that she
should not understand his misery. He wondered at himself more and more
because he seemed to have the power of behaving much as usual when he
was with his friends; it seemed impossible that he could always go on
without betraying his thoughts.
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