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Chesterton, G. K. (Gilbert Keith), 1874-1936

"The Club of Queer Trades"


"You don't understand," he said, "but, on the other hand, as a
compensation, you don't mind smoking. Why you don't object to that
disgustingly barbaric rite I can't think. I can only say that I
began it when I began to be a Zulu, about the age of ten. What I
maintained was that although you knew more about Zulus in the sense
that you are a scientist, I know more about them in the sense that
I am a savage. For instance, your theory of the origin of language,
something about its having come from the formulated secret language
of some individual creature, though you knocked me silly with facts
and scholarship in its favour, still does not convince me, because
I have a feeling that that is not the way that things happen. If
you ask me why I think so I can only answer that I am a Zulu; and
if you ask me (as you most certainly will) what is my definition of
a Zulu, I can answer that also. He is one who has climbed a Sussex
apple-tree at seven and been afraid of a ghost in an English lane."
"Your process of thought--" began the immovable Chadd, but his
speech was interrupted. His sister, with that masculinity which
always in such families concentrates in sisters, flung open the
door with a rigid arm and said:
"James, Mr Bingham of the British Museum wants to see you again.


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