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Chesterton, G. K. (Gilbert Keith), 1874-1936

"The Club of Queer Trades"

We are paid five guineas a visit. We have had the
good fortune to satisfy the firm with our work; and we are now
permanently vicars. Before that we had two years as colonels, the
next in our scale. Colonels are four guineas."

Chapter 4
The Singular Speculation of the House-Agent
Lieutenant Drummond Keith was a man about whom conversation always
burst like a thunderstorm the moment he left the room. This arose
from many separate touches about him. He was a light, loose
person, who wore light, loose clothes, generally white, as if he
were in the tropics; he was lean and graceful, like a panther, and
he had restless black eyes.
He was very impecunious. He had one of the habits of the poor,
in a degree so exaggerated as immeasurably to eclipse the most
miserable of the unemployed; I mean the habit of continual change
of lodgings. There are inland tracts of London where, in the very
heart of artificial civilization, humanity has almost become
nomadic once more. But in that restless interior there was no
ragged tramp so restless as the elegant officer in the loose white
clothes. He had shot a great many things in his time, to judge
from his conversation, from partridges to elephants, but his
slangier acquaintances were of opinion that "the moon" had been
not unfrequently amid the victims of his victorious rifle.


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