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Strindberg, August, 1849-1912

"Married"


But in the long run her position as an unmarried woman failed to
satisfy her, and she noted with envious eyes the freedom enjoyed by
her married sisters. They were at liberty to go wherever they liked,
talk to whom they liked, and always had a footman in their husband to
meet them and accompany them on their way home. In addition, married
women had a better social position, and a great deal more influence.
With what condescension for instance, they treated the spinsters! But
whenever she thought of getting married, the incident with her mare
flashed into her mind and terror made her ill.
In the second year the wife of a professor from Upsala, who combined
with her official position great personal charm, appeared on the
scene. Helena's star paled; all her worshippers left her to worship
the new sun. As she no longer possessed her former social position,
and the savour of the court had vanished like the scent on a
handkerchief, she was beaten in the fight. One single vassal remained
faithful to her, a lecturer on ethics, who had hitherto not dared to
push himself forward. His attentions were well received, for the
severity of his ethics filled her with unlimited confidence. He wooed
her so assiduously that people began to gossip; Helena, however, took
no notice, she was above that.


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