"In
that case it will be better to wait until it's all over, for he won't
brook interference. If the lady will leave it to me, I will bring her
mare home later on."
Glad to have done with the matter, Helena hurried away.
When she arrived home, she was ill.
She refused to ride her mare again, for in her eyes the beast had
become unclean.
This pretty adventure had a greater influence on Helena's psychic
development than might have been expected. The brutal outbreak of a
natural instinct, the undisguised exhibition of which in the community
of men is punished with a term of imprisonment, haunted her as if she
had been present at an execution. It distressed her during the day and
disturbed her dreams at night. It increased her fear of nature and
made her give up her former amazon's life. She remained at home and
gave herself up to study.
The house boasted a library. But as misfortune would have it, no
additions had been made since her grandfather's death. All books were
therefore a generation too old, and Helena found antiquated ideals.
The first book which fell into her hands was Madame de Stael's _Corinna_
The way in which the volume lay on the shelf indicated that it had
served a special purpose.
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