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Strindberg, August, 1849-1912

"Married"

A vague disgust
with his whole life and surroundings began to stir in him.
The free and easy manner in which everybody behaved in his presence
offended him, and he retaliated by heartily loathing all with whom he
came in contact. His mother was the only one who considered his feelings
to a certain extent: she had a big screen put round his bed.
Ultimately the kitchen and the servants' hall became his refuge; there
everything he did was approved of. Occasionally, of course, matters
were discussed there which might have aroused a boy's curiosity, but
for him there were no secrets. On one occasion, for instance, he had
accidentally come to the maids' bathing-place. The governess, who was
with him, screamed, he could not understand why, but he stopped and
talked to the girls who were standing or lying about in the water.
Their nudity made no impression upon him.
He grew up into a youth. An inspector was engaged to teach him farming
for he was, of course, to take over the management of the estate in
due time. They chose an old man who held the orthodox faith. The old
man's society was not exactly calculated to stimulate a young man's
brain, but it was an improvement on the old conditions. It opened
new points of view to him and roused him to activity.


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