Whatever I suffer, I deserve
it--don't I?
"I waited in that inner room--knowing my own violent temper, and not
trusting myself to see you, after what I had heard--I waited in that
inner room, trembling lest the servant should tell you of my visit
before I could find an opportunity of leaving the house. No such
misfortune happened. The servant, no doubt, heard the voices upstairs,
and supposed that we had met each other in the passage. I don't know how
long or how short a time it was before you left the room to go and take
off your bonnet--you went, and your friend went with you. I raised the
long window softly, and stepped into the back garden. The way by which
you returned to the house was the way by which I left it. No blame
attaches to the servant. As usual, where I am concerned, nobody is to
blame but me.
"Time enough has passed now to quiet my mind a little. You know how
strong I am? You remember how I used to fight against all my illnesses
when I was a child? Now I am a woman, I fight against my miseries in the
same way. Don't pity me, Miss Garth! Don't pity me!
"I have no harsh feeling against Norah. The hope I had of seeing her
is a hope taken from me; the consolation I had in writing to her is a
consolation denied me for the future.
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