"
"That's the one thing he'll never believe. Well, I don't care. It'll be
over soon. If I've passed that exam. I'll get away and he won't be able
to nag me any more. And you, do think I've passed, don't you,
Stonehouse?"
"If you didn't imagine your answers afterwards."
"Honour bright, I didn't. I believe I did a lot better, really. You
know, I'm so awfully happy to-night I'd believe anything. It's queer how
this old river fits in with one's moods, isn't it? Last time we were
here I wanted to drown myself, and there it was ready to hand, as it
were--offering eternal oblivion--and all that. I thought of all the
other fellows who had drowned themselves, and felt no end cheered up.
And now it makes me think of escape--of getting away from
everything--sailing to strange, new countries----"
"The last time you were here," Stonehouse said, "you'd just come out of
the exam. If you really answered as you say you did, there was no reason
for your wanting to drown yourself."
"But I did. You're such a distrustful beggar. You think I just imagine
things. No, I'll tell you what it was--I didn't care. There I was--I'd
swotted and swotted. I'd thought that if only I could squeeze through
I'd be the happiest man on earth. And then, when it was all over I began
to think: 'What's it all for, what's it all about? What's the good?'
Suppose I have passed, I'll get some beastly little job in some stuffy
Government office, 200 pounds a year, if I'm lucky.
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