_Surveyor_ (_lighting another cigar_). Humph! (_Puff'
puff!_) Pity--pity! (_Puff! puff!_) Now look here, my
boy--(_confidentially_)--suppose you and me just divide that
tenner between us, five to you, and five to me; and, as to the
"underpinning"--well, nobody'll be a bit the wiser, and the building
won't be a halfpenny the worse, _I'll_ bet my boots. Come, is it a
bargain?
[_After a little beating about the bush, the little "job" is
arranged amicably, on the practical basis of "a fiver each,
and mum's the word on both sides," thus evading the law,
saving the Builder a few pounds, and supplementing the
salary of the Surveyor. Ulterior results, unsanitary or
otherwise, do not come within the compass of this sketch._
* * * * *
STRANGER THAN FICTION!
(_POSTMARKS--LEEDS, HULL, AND ELSEWHERE._)
Mr. Punch was assisting at a Congress. The large room in which that
Congress was being held was crowded, and consequently the heat was
oppressive. The speeches, too, were not particularly interesting,
and the Sage became drowsy. It was fortunate, therefore, that a fair
maiden in a classical garb (who suddenly appeared seated beside him)
should have addressed him. The interruption reassembled in their
proper home his wandering senses.
"I fear, _Mr.
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