I certainly never
pretended the thing was anything else than an experiment; I promised
nothing, I answered for nothing; I only said the case was hopeful, and
that it would be a shame to neglect it. I have done my best, and if
the machine is running down I have a right to stand aside and let it
scuttle. Amen, amen! No, I can write that, but I can't feel it. I can't
be just; I can only be generous. I love the poor fellow and I can't give
him up. As for understanding him, that 's another matter; nowadays I
don't believe even you would. One's wits are sadly pestered over here,
I assure you, and I 'm in the way of seeing more than one puzzling
specimen of human nature. Roderick and Miss Light, between them!...
Have n't I already told you about Miss Light? Last winter everything was
perfection. Roderick struck out bravely, did really great things, and
proved himself, as I supposed, thoroughly solid. He was strong, he was
first-rate; I felt perfectly secure and sang private paeans of joy. We
had passed at a bound into the open sea, and left danger behind. But
in the summer I began to be puzzled, though I succeeded in not being
alarmed.
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