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Shaw, George Bernard, 1856-1950

"You Never Can Tell"

You don't like her?
CRAMPTON. My child: you haven't been married to her. I have. (She
raises herself slowly to her feet, looking at him with growing
coldness.) She did me a great wrong in marrying me without really
caring for me. But after that, the wrong was all on my side,
I dare say. (He offers her his hand again.)
GLORIA (taking it firmly and warningly). Take care. That's a
dangerous subject. My feelings---my miserable, cowardly, womanly
feelings---may be on your side; but my conscience is on hers.
CRAMPTON. I'm very well content with that division, my dear. Thank
you. (Valentine arrives. Gloria immediately becomes deliberately
haughty.)
VALENTINE. Excuse me; but it's impossible to find a servant to
announce one: even the never failing William seems to be at the ball. I
should have gone myself; only I haven't five shillings to buy a ticket.
How are you getting on, Crampton? Better, eh?
CRAMPTON. I am myself again, Mr. Valentine, no thanks to you.
VALENTINE. Look at this ungrateful parent of yours, Miss Clandon! I
saved him from an excruciating pang; and he reviles me!
GLORIA (coldly). I am sorry my mother is not here to receive you,
Mr. Valentine. It is not quite nine o'clock; and the gentleman of whom
Mr. McComas spoke, the lawyer, is not yet come.
VALENTINE.


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