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Shaw, George Bernard, 1856-1950

"You Never Can Tell"

Good-bye.
VALENTINE (horrified). Good-bye! Oh, mayn't I see her before I go?
MRS. CLANDON. I am afraid she will not return until you have gone
Mr. Valentine. She left the room expressly to avoid you.
VALENTINE (thoughtfully). That's a good sign. Good-bye. (He bows
and makes for the door, apparently well satisfied.)
MRS. CLANDON (alarmed). Why do you think it a good sign?
VALENTINE (turning near the door). Because I am mortally afraid of
her; and it looks as if she were mortally afraid of me. (He turns to go
and finds himself face to face with Gloria, who has just entered. She
looks steadfastly at him. He stares helplessly at her; then round at
Mrs. Clandon; then at Gloria again, completely at a loss.)
GLORIA (white, and controlling herself with difficulty). Mother: is
what Dolly told me true?
MRS. CLANDON. What did she tell you, dear?
GLORIA. That you have been speaking about me to this gentleman.
VALENTINE (murmuring). This gentleman! Oh!
MRS. CLANDON (sharply). Mr. Valentine: can you hold your tongue for
a moment? (He looks piteously at them; then, with a despairing shrug,
goes back to the ottoman and throws his hat on it.)
GLORIA (confronting her mother, with deep reproach). Mother: what
right had you to do it?
MRS. CLANDON. I don't think I have said anything I have no right to
say, Gloria.


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