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Shaw, George Bernard, 1856-1950

"You Never Can Tell"


DOLLY (delighted). Oh, what did I always say, Phil?
PHILIP. Dolly: we have perhaps been condemning the old man too
hastily. Proceed, Mr. McComas.
McCOMAS. I shall not proceed, sir. I am too hurt, too shocked, to
proceed.
MRS. CLANDON (urgently). Finch: do you realize what is happening?
Do you understand that my children have invited that man to lunch, and
that he will be here in a few moments?
McCOMAS (completely upset). What! do you mean---am I to understand-
--is it---
PHILIP (impressively). Steady, Finch. Think it out slowly and
carefully. He's coming---coming to lunch.
GLORIA. Which of us is to tell him the truth? Have you thought of
that?
MRS. CLANDON. Finch: you must tell him.
DOLLY Oh, Finch is no good at telling things. Look at the mess he
has made of telling us.
McCOMAS. I have not been allowed to speak. I protest against this.
DOLLY (taking his arm coaxingly). Dear Finch: don't be cross.
MRS. CLANDON. Gloria: let us go in. He may arrive at any moment.
GLORIA (proudly). Do not stir, mother. I shall not stir. We must
not run away.
MRS. CLANDON (delicately rebuking her). My dear: we cannot sit down
to lunch just as we are. We shall come back again. We must have no
bravado. (Gloria winces, and goes into the hotel without a word.)
Come, Dolly.


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