) You
were asking me what the devil that was to me. Well, I have an idea of
getting married myself.
CRAMPTON (with grumbling irony). Naturally, sir, naturally. When a
young man has come to his last farthing, and is within twenty-four hours
of having his furniture distrained upon by his landlord, he marries.
I've noticed that before. Well, marry; and be miserable.
VALENTINE. Oh, come, what do you know about it?
CRAMPTON. I'm not a bachelor.
VALENTINE. Then there is a Mrs. Crampton?
CRAMPTON (wincing with a pang of resentment). Yes---damn her!
VALENTINE (unperturbed). Hm! A father, too, perhaps, as well as a
husband, Mr. Crampton?
CRAMPTON. Three children.
VALENTINE (politely). Damn them?--eh?
CRAMPTON (jealously). No, sir: the children are as much mine as
hers. (The parlor maid brings in a jug of hot water.)
VALENTINE. Thank you. (He takes the jug from her, and brings it to
the cabinet, continuing in the same idle strain) I really should like
to know your family, Mr. Crampton. (The parlor maid goes out: and he
pours some hot water into the drinking glass.)
CRAMPTON. Sorry I can't introduce you, sir. I'm happy to say that I
don't know where they are, and don't care, so long as they keep out of
my way. (Valentine, with a hitch of his eyebrows and shoulders, drops
the forceps with a clink into the glass of hot water.
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