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Shaw, George Bernard, 1856-1950

"You Never Can Tell"

Ch--crampton.
CRAMPTON. Thank you; but won't this young lady---(indicating Gloria,
who is close to the chair)?
GLORIA. Thank you, Mr. Crampton: we are just going.
VALENTINE (bustling him across to the chair with good-humored
peremptoriness). Sit down, sit down. You're tired.
CRAMPTON. Well, perhaps as I am considerably the oldest person
present, I--- (He finishes the sentence by sitting down a little
rheumatically in the operating chair. Meanwhile, Philip, having studied
him critically during his passage across the room, nods to Dolly; and
Dolly nods to Gloria.)
GLORIA. Mr. Crampton: we understand that we are preventing Mr.
Valentine from lunching with you by taking him away ourselves. My
mother would be very glad, indeed, if you would come too.
CRAMPTON (gratefully, after looking at her earnestly for a moment).
Thank you. I will come with pleasure.
GLORIA } (politely { Thank you very much--er---
DOLLY } murmuring).{ So glad--er---
PHILIP } { Delighted, I'm sure--er---
(The conversation drops. Gloria and Dolly look at one another; then
at Valentine and Philip. Valentine and Philip, unequal to the occasion,
look away from them at one another, and are instantly so disconcerted by
catching one another's eye, that they look back again and catch the eyes
of Gloria and Dolly.


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