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Wharton, Edith, 1862-1937

"The Custom of the Country"


Why haven't we taught our women to take an interest in our work? Simply
because we don't take enough interest in THEM."
Mrs. Fairford, sinking back into her chair, sat gazing at the
vertiginous depths above which his thought seemed to dangle her.
"YOU don't? The American man doesn't--the most slaving, self-effacing,
self-sacrificing--?"
"Yes; and the most indifferent: there's the point. The 'slaving's' no
argument against the indifference To slave for women is part of the old
American tradition; lots of people give their lives for dogmas they've
ceased to believe in. Then again, in this country the passion for making
money has preceded the knowing how to spend it, and the American man
lavishes his fortune on his wife because he doesn't know what else to do
with it."
"Then you call it a mere want of imagination for a man to spend his
money on his wife?"
"Not necessarily--but it's a want of imagination to fancy it's all
he owes her. Look about you and you'll see what I mean. Why does the
European woman interest herself so much more in what the men are doing?
Because she's so important to them that they make it worth her while!
She's not a parenthesis, as she is here--she's in the very middle
of the picture. I'm not implying that Ralph isn't interested in his
wife--he's a passionate, a pathetic exception. But even he has to
conform to an environment where all the romantic values are reversed.
Where does the real life of most American men lie? In some woman's
drawing-room or in their offices? The answer's obvious, isn't it? The
emotional centre of gravity's not the same in the two hemispheres.


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